Life......One of the most momentous lesson I have learnt in my life was when my father departured. Moving moments for most of us, would bring in the life changing effect, and so it did in my life...Thus, this posting is a dedication to my father on behalf of Father's Day..
Departure.....
My father exhaled his last breath in a room known as the ICU in the state of coma and on the most unforgettable date in my life, September the 10th year 1999. My father has been struggling with an uninvited guest that takes pleasure in his body till it damages his kidneys. Yes, it is the end stage renal failure (as claimed by the doctor) that took my father away from me. I was 14 at those time; young at age & young to realise that my father is in critical state.
Last words.......At the last moments of my father, before the state of coma brings him to another world that only god knows, my father has given me & my other siblings some last advice & also request which now it turns out to be my sole responsibility to hold on to it. To look back, those time when he told me these, I took his words for granted. But now, to ponder back, I knew what he actually meant...(There's where the great lesson flows in)
Pain........The intense pain is also there, when you never had the chance to talk to the person,kiss him a goodbye or at least see him for the last time before he leaves.The painful moment captured: I was brought into the ICU room and saw my father on the bed,breathless with his eyes closed and his body was cold like an ice.
Also remembered what my grandpa told me before they brought me to the room,"Mala,be strong" once after I heard that heart breaking statement, I still crossed my fingers, maximumly; hoping my father is still breathing, with the fact that he still has 4 to 5 minutes to survive(the brain still functions) when he stops breathing, but the bright side that I was looking for has dimmed into the darker side.
I managed to get through that heart ripping moment, but my poor mom,really had the toughest time ever in her whole life; of losing her other half...
Ponder........To ponder back the moment of the departure, I still get the pain in the heart yet the scar of losing my father is still healing...So wherever I go, I will be touched if I get to see little kids with their fathers having fun time together. At the same time my responsibility as a daughter never cease off coz in my heart I have a comfort zone for my beloved mother; as a result of losing my father, I appreciate her more. She's my other half,my life..
Relationship.........Some relationship when taken in granted will reciprocate great heart pain & guiltiness. I went through& felt both, and now there's no use of regretting; my father is not going to come back though, but I know he's there, just right there, where my mother is. He left us his greatest memory; our mother with us. And now it is all about love , and yes, no regrets but appreciation instead.
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The picture up here, I snapped it when I went for a Blogger's Karnival in PJ lately. Kinda cute seeing the girl curling up on her dad, Haha! definitely it reminded to my dad &
me too (guess the same for you too)Hope....
I am doing this posting with the hope that, in future, my kids (rough guess) would read this posting & get to see my view on my dad, hence they do the same to their dad too. Will be more glad if they too,blog about their 'appa' too. It's time to share & care LOVE. Spread the love around & blessed with PEACE.
~Ahimsa~
